Laz nite slept around 4am++.... recently have not been working... most of the day jux staying at home, doin my own research....... hang out once in a while at nite or went out to church...
Today woke kinda late... arnd 2pm++... saw a few of the msn....... unexpecting tat one of it was him..... i tot it was the virus, clicked it up, intending to close it, surprisingly tat it was not.......... sent in da morning 9.30am+................. and what caught my attention was that he posted there "Im Resigned"..... I questioning myself why.... why the sudden sadness.... after all these long while, i tot i no longer mind, i tot i'm okay..... when in turns that my tears trying to drop out.... the pain, the fear, was still inside me......... whyyyyyyyyyy...... or i shud hav known why..... dint get to chat... he's rushing to off... he tell me himself he'll come back, he tell me when he's goin back....... he never talked so much things to me oredy until today...... and without me askin.....
All these months, everything, everyone, movies, every music n songs......~~ nothin interests me!!! notin that i'll feel bothered no matter what.... I just dun give a damn..... nothin much could make me sad, nothin much could make me happy nor excited either...... everythin jux....... jux flat.... meaningless??? Geeeeee.... i dnt knw....... until today.... but everythin hold back.... i wont allow myself to think or recall anythin.......
Nite...... Went for my piano lesson, then hav a tea wif my dad, saw him... waved and laughed over sth or shud i say sum1...... left b4 him... back home..... online a while then housemate drop me to mall.... goin for cinema - Terminator...... ends arnd midnite.... sppose happy to see someone cos long time no see... but as usual, he's owes making me mad....... dunno what's wrong... friendssssssss.............. so tired to mind anythin.... sooOoooooo tired..... of sumthin.... of all the teasing.....~~ i dun like........ dun like~~~~~.... feel like crying.... actually crying...... havent cry for a long tym now..... dun wanna think... goin to bed... 1am++ oredy....
